Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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