ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
wow bdsm is so cute
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
