Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
