Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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