just come out here and I will go home with you...
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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