Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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