Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize