You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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