I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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