Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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