just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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