If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
