Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
