It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
