From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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