So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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