Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
