I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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