You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
