Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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