last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
