it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
