Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
