Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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