That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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