I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
