Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
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