I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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