grandma shit on top of the toilet
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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