hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
