Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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