I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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