i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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