i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
