And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize