Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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