the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Randomize
