New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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