Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
