dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
