Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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