grandma shit on top of the toilet
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
my liver is dry heaving
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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