The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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