Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
