The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
