We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize