I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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