you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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