in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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