I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize