I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
