help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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