i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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