with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
