I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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