if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
This baby is an asshole
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize