I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
