i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
