just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize