i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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