What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
