we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
