you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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