In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
