Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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