Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He better not be in your backpack
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
