I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
