ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
there is puke in my bra ... again
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
